If you could be any animal, what would you be? (“Humans are animals” is not a real answer.)
This question seems to come up in job interviews and first dates, or randomly asked among friends while appreciating a starry sky. An interesting question, given proper debate.
After much consideration, I’ve determined my answer to be… a cormorant.
Those aquatic birds that are always posing on half-submerged branches or rocks — wings spread wide open, basking in the sun; drying themselves off after taking a dip, before eventually flying away.
Yup, that’s exactly why I chose this animal — I want to see it all, then sit-back, reflect, and inevitably take-off again.
Not many species know what Earth looks like from a bird’s-eye-view AND beneath the water’s surface. The ability to fly and swim. I’d mark that as a positive, in my book, but what else does this entail?
If you’re covering two environmental realms, and you aren’t at the top of the food chain in either place, doesn’t that leave you susceptible to more predatory ambushes?
Quite possibly.
But as a cormorant, if I’m vulnerable to attack regardless of where I go, then I might as well be brave and try to see as much of the world as I can!
I admire how — in spite of an omnipresent chance of unexpectedly becoming a larger animal’s prey — these birds generally appear at ease and relaxed.
Another typical cormorant sighting goes like this (you may be familiar):
You’re looking out at the lake and notice… what could be a large duck? It’s neck is kinda long, though, but it’s obviously not a goose.
Must be one of those crazy cormorants.
It lackadaisically floats along, when suddenly, it does a little jump-dive like a seal and is gone. Rings of ripples disperse from where the bird has vanished and slowly calm before also disappearing, until the surface is smooth and mirror-like again.
Looking around, you begin to wonder where the cormorant will pop up.
You’re impressed at how long it’s been, but almost concerned. Minutes go by. Your concentration jumps from one spot to another; with each shift in focus, you imagine the bird emerging exactly where your eyes have just landed — there… no, there!… there! Like a gambler, you know you’re about to be right.
A flicker in your periphery seizes your attention, causing your head to jerk. Farther away than you were expecting — and in a completely different area — your friend has returned, peacefully afloat, just as before.
Sounds like a micro-adventure — a fishing trip, at that! What a life.
How does that compare to common answers?
You wanna be a dog or cat?
As loving and enjoyable as that may be, this cormorant is trying to see the world!
A lion? Gorilla? Elephant? Shark?
Certainly not terrible selections, but you may want to review their trends in population (an unfortunate reality for many species).
Another factor to analyze is personality. For example, howler monkeys seem rather egotistical; woodpeckers — prying; sloths — you understand.
Cormorants remind me of corvids: eager, and curious as crows. In fact, they used to be referred to as sea ravens. As in, He examined the clouds by watching the river’s surface; he felt a returning desire to escape; quoth the sea raven, “Forevermore.”
Granted, I’m not a behavioral ornithologist, this is all purely based on observation (but if I had to say, cormorants strike me as fans of Twain, over Dickinson, Whitman, or Poe).
Have you considered the diet of your chosen animal?
Are you really a carnivore? Or could you tolerate being an animal that feeds on one particular plant for every meal? If that were the case, monotony would likely kill me before any predator.
Cormorants primarily eat fish; fish, I can handle.
In summary:
Pros —
-
- travel expert (aeronautic and aquatic)
- intriguing personality (preference in American literature remains undetermined)
- tolerable diet
Cons —
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- not an apex predator, must always be vigilant
- may discover acrophobia or hydrophobia
- high caloric requirements
Verdict —
Being a cormorant doesn’t sound so bad; sure, there are risks, but that’s part of life — get out and explore while you still can!
And once you’ve had enough of wherever you are, be like the cormorant and dive into your next adventure.